pfitz

An Honorary Degree

by pfitz
A rich old boy sauntered into the offices of the president of a small Texas college and said, “I’d like to donate one million dollars to this here institution of higher education… But there’s a condition. Ah’d like to have an honorary degree.” The president nodded agreeably, “That’s not a problem. We can certainly arrange ... Read More

Quotes from Smart Women

by pfitz
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde. -Dolly Parton You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong I want to have children, but ... Read More

Hotel Soap

by pfitz
What to Do With Hotel Soap? The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times. ——————————————————————— Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since ... Read More

Christmas Party Memos

by pfitz
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 1 RE: Holiday Party I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing ... Read More

Twas the Night Before Finals

by pfitz
by Andrew Hund, 1993 Twas the night before finals, and all through the college, The students were praying for last minute knowledge. Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds, While visions of essays danced in their heads. Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking, And hoping that liquor would loosen their ... Read More

Letter from Mom

by pfitz
When the man came home, his wife was crying. “Your mother insulted me,” she sobbed. “My mother? How could she do that?” the man asked. She’s on vacation on the other side of the world!” “I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.” “And?” “At ... Read More