Watch Your Mouth

A man walks into a bar and asks for “Two drinks. One for me and one for my best buddy here.”

“You want both drinks now?” the bartender asks. “Or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives before pouring his?”

“Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” With that he pulls out a man no more than three inches high from his pocket.

“Wow!” says the bartender. “And you mean to say he can drink that much?”

“Oh, sure. He can drink it all, and then some.”

So the bartender pours the two drinks. Sure enough, the little guy drinks his down.

“That’s amazing,” says the bartender. “What else can he do? Can he walk?”

The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, “Hey Al, go get that quarter.”

The little guy runs down to the end of the bar, picks up the quarter and runs back with it.

“That’s amazing,” the bartender says. “Does he talk, too?”

“Talk? Sure, he talks. Hey Al, tell him about that time we were in Africa on safari and you insulted that witch doctor!”