Jazzing It Up

A vocalist to his keyboard player: “I’d like to do ‘My Funny Valentine’ again tonight, but can you think of a way to ‘jazz it up’?” Keyboard player replies, “Sure. We can do the first chorus in G minor, then modulate to G# minor for the second chorus, add a bar of 5/4 time just […]

Musical Lightbulb-Changing

There are many websites that list jokes about musicians. Here are all lightbulb-related ones I could find on a variety of websites. How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb? One to hold the lightbulb while the world revolves around her. or Three. One to climb up the ladder, one to kick the […]

Top Ten Reasons for Being a Bass

Top 10 Reasons for Being a Bass 10) You don’t have to tighten your shorts to reach your note. 9) You don’t have to worry about a woman stealing your job. 8) Or a pre-adolescent boy. 7) Action heroes are always Basses. That is, if they ever sang, they would sing bass. 6) You get […]

Top Ten Reasons for Being a Tenor

Top 10 Reasons for Being a Tenor 10) Tenors get high — without drugs. 9) Name a musical where the Bass got the girl. 8) You can show the Sopranos how it SHOULD be sung. 7) Did you ever hear of anyone paying $1000 for a ticket to see “The Three Basses?” 6) Who needs […]

Top Ten Reasons for Being an Alto

Top 10 Reasons for Being an Alto 10) You get really good at singing E flat. 9) You get to sing the same note for 12 consecutive measures. 8) You don’t really need to warm up to sing 12 consecutive bars of E-flat. 7) If the choir really sucks, it’s unlikely the Altos will be […]

Top Ten Reasons for Being a Soprano

Top 10 Reasons for Being a Soprano 10) The rest of the choir exists just to make you look good. 9) You can entertain your friends by breaking their wine glasses. 8) Can you name an opera where an Alto got the man? 7) When Sopranos want to sing in the shower, they know the […]

Musical Terms

Here are some musical terms that are commonly misunderstood by Country-Western musicians with their translated “Country” (or redneck, if you prefer) definitions: 12-Tone Scale: The thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailor truck with. A 440: The highway that runs around Nashville. Aeolian Mode: How you like Mama’s cherry pie. Altos: Not to be […]

Country Song Titles

Readers of a New York magazine were asked to invent country-song titles. Here are some entries: – Ain’t No Trash In My Trailer Since The Night I Threw You Out – You Wanted To Get Hitched, But My Heart Is Filled With Whoa – Baked My Sweetie A Pie, But He Left With A Tart […]