Randomness

Wise Sayings

by pfitz
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ... Read More

Some Short Thoughts

by pfitz
All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat, though. If your feet smell and your nose runs, you’re built upside-down. Taxation WITH representation ain’t much fun either. I don’t have a license to kill but I do have a learner’s permit. He who dies with the most toys is still dead. I like cats too. ... Read More

Murphy’s Other 15 Laws

by pfitz
Murphy’s Other 15 Laws (culled from many sources) Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. ... Read More

Bad Day

by pfitz
“You Know It’s a Bad Day When…” The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard. You have an appointment in 10 minutes, and you just woke up. You open the paper and find your picture under a caption that reads: “WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!” You see a “60 Minutes news team” waiting in your ... Read More

Some Tough Questions

by pfitz
If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter? Is it okay to use the AM radio after noon? What do chickens think we taste like? What do people in China call their good plates? What do you call a male ladybug? Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? ... Read More

Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

by pfitz
Here are some things you would never know without the movies: -It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. -A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. -If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the ... Read More

Fun with Telemarketers

by pfitz
(Author and date unknown) One of the things that has always bugged me and I’m sure it has most of you too, is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them, as they ... Read More