All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat, though.
If your feet smell and your nose runs, you’re built upside-down.
Taxation WITH representation ain’t much fun either.
I don’t have a license to kill but I do have a learner’s permit.
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
I like cats too. Let’s exchange recipes.
“Time is fun when you’re having flies.” Kermit the Frog
Red meat is not bad for you, but fuzzy green meat is.
Toilet stolen from police station. Cops have nothing to go on.
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
The Dark Ages was caused by the Y1K problem.
A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
If you think there is good in everybody, then you obviously haven’t
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.
Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.
Remember: First you pillage, THEN you burn.
To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
Half the people in the world are below average.
Failure is not an option. It’s bundled with your software.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
A picture may be worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand
times more memory!
If a thing is worth doing, wouldn’t it have been done already?
If we weren’t meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Ham and eggs: Just a day’s work for a chicken but a lifetime
commitment for a pig.