Movies & Television

A Star Trek: The Next Generation Christmas

by pfitz
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shipNot a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip;The phasers were hung in the arm’ry securely,In hope that no aliens would get up that early. The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunksexcept for the few who were partying drunks;And Picard in his nightshirt, and Bev ... Read More

The X(mas) Files

by pfitz
Mulder: We’re too late. It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into some sort of shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been ... Read More

A Klingon Christmas Carol

by pfitz
A Christmas Carol from Worf, to the tune of “The Christmas Song”(“Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”): Phasers flashing in the depths of space,Ripping up an airtight hull;Signs of fear on your enemy’s face,And life support signs reading null!Ev’rybody knows a Romulan’s a spineless foeWho lacks the Klingon will to fight!Phaser beams set his torso ... Read More

Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

by pfitz
Here are some things you would never know without the movies: -It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. -A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. -If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the ... Read More

Family Feud Answers

by pfitz
Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family Feud. Name something a blind person might use: a sword Name a song with ‘moon’ in the title: blue suede moon Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin Name an occupation where you need a torch: a burglar ... Read More

An Evil Overlord Pfunny

by pfitz
Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks, and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Overlord I’ve read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I’ve noticed that no matter whether they ... Read More

Halloween Rules

by pfitz
=> When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it’s really dead. => Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. => Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out. => If your children speak to you in Latin or ... Read More

Sith Lord Wanted

by pfitz
Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group. An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would like galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn. Duties ... Read More