Lists

Top Ten Sayings of Biblical Mothers

by pfitz
10. Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don’t know where it’s been! (Judges 14:5-8) 9. David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons! 8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper! 7. ... Read More

Family Feud Answers

by pfitz
Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family Feud. Name something a blind person might use: a sword Name a song with ‘moon’ in the title: blue suede moon Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin Name an occupation where you need a torch: a burglar ... Read More

Epitaphs

by pfitz
Actual epitaphs from real tombstones: In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast Pardon me For not rising. Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery: Here lies the ... Read More

First Grade Proverbs

by pfitz
A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you. [Note: My 2nd grade teacher did the same thing back in the 1970’s and got the results published ... Read More

New Book Titles

by pfitz
Some New Book Releases: How to Write Big Books, by Warren Peace The Lion Attacked, by Claude Yarmoff The Art of Archery, by Beau N. Arrow Songs for Children, by Barbara Blacksheep Irish Heart Surgery, by Angie O’Plasty Desert Crossing, by I. Rhoda Camel School Truancy, by Marcus Absent I Was a Cloakroom Attendant, by ... Read More

A T-Shirt Pfunny

by pfitz
Top T-Shirts Seen Around Town ———————————– “Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ “My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ “I Yell Because I Care” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ... Read More

The Brick Theory of Management

by pfitz
How to place new employees in the right jobs for them: Put 400 bricks in a closed room. Put your new hires in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours. Then analyze the situation: If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department. If ... Read More

Top 10 Signs Your Co-Worker is a Computer Hacker

by pfitz
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000. 9. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running. 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office computer network goes down. 6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC ... Read More

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

by pfitz
* 10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes. * 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. * 8. Crying can be fun. * 7. FAT CLOTHES * 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch. * 5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance ... Read More

Medical Chart Notes

by pfitz
Medical chart notes written by clever people Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She ... Read More