Lists

Top 10 Signs Your Co-Worker is a Computer Hacker

by pfitz
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000. 9. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running. 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office computer network goes down. 6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC ... Read More

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

by pfitz
* 10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes. * 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. * 8. Crying can be fun. * 7. FAT CLOTHES * 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch. * 5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance ... Read More

Medical Chart Notes

by pfitz
Medical chart notes written by clever people Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She ... Read More

Headlines from the Year 2029

by pfitz
– Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia (formerly California). – White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language. – Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. – Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped. – Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim ... Read More

Top Ten Signs That You’re at a Bad Zoo

by pfitz
When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. The ... Read More

True or False?

by pfitz
1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock did not have a bellybutton. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs. 4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it’s from being indoors a lot more. 5. When you sneeze, all ... Read More

Cheer Up

by pfitz
HEY !!! Cheer up… * The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund. * They say the house didn’t float very far at all. * We’re all amazed that you go on living each day. * Well, at least the operation was a partial success. * The “National Enquirer” just loved those nude shots ... Read More

Men and Women Compared

by pfitz
NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra, and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra, and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob, and John go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head, and Useless. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, ... Read More

Why Women Would Love Being Santa Claus

by pfitz
You’d never be expected to make the coffee. There’d be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the  office. You could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert’s and consider it a job requirement. One big black belt – accessorized for life! There’d be no reason to have your colors done. ... Read More