Lists
Inspirational Posters
Top 25 Sayings We’d Like to See on Office Inspirational Posters
More Puns
— Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. — Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive….” — A jumper cable walks into a ... Read More
The Wit and Wisdom of Homer J. Simpson
“Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs.” “Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.” “You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.” “Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out ... Read More
Dog Wisdom
1) The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous 2) Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers 3) If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -Will ... Read More
Cowisms
FEUDALISMYou have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISMYou have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISMYou have two cows. The ... Read More
Wise Sayings
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ... Read More
Some Short Thoughts
All power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat, though. If your feet smell and your nose runs, you’re built upside-down. Taxation WITH representation ain’t much fun either. I don’t have a license to kill but I do have a learner’s permit. He who dies with the most toys is still dead. I like cats too. ... Read More
Real World Laws
Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will. O’Toole’s Commentary on Murphy’s Law: Murphy was an incurable optimist. The Unspeakable Law: As soon as you mention something … if it’s good, it goes away; if it’s bad, it happens. The First Law of Theatre: Everything will take longer than it really should.The Second Law ... Read More