Aging

An Old Lady Pfunny

by pfitz
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few thingswhen he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing ofit, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkoutline, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you ... Read More

White Hair

by pfitz
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out, in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Mommy, why are some of your hairs white?” Her ... Read More

Memories

by pfitz
An elderly couple were having problems remembering things, so theydecided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothingwas seriously wrong with them. They explained to the doctor about the problems they were having withtheir memory. After his examination, the kindly doctor tells themthat they were physically fine. He suggested that ... Read More

Gambling Grandpa

by pfitz
The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS ... Read More

The Dying Irish Nun

by pfitz
The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift ... Read More

Grandpa Forgot

by pfitz
My grandpa and grandma were sitting on their porch swing enjoying the nice evening breeze, when Grandpa lovingly leaned over and said, “Hey Ma, I’m gonna have some ice cream, would you like some?” “Yeah, Pa, but you’d better write it down or you’ll forget,” said Grandma. Grandpa replied, “I won’t forget.” “Alright then,” said ... Read More

An Elderly Pfunny

by pfitz
Three elderly ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on ... Read More

A Strength Pfunny

by pfitz
The strong young man at the construction site was boasting that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of his ‘more mature’ co-workers. Finally, the older fella had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. “I ... Read More

Good Eyes

by pfitz
This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up. “My skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes ... Read More

Top 10 Old Folks’ Party Games

by pfitz
10. Musical Recliners 9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta 8. Hide and Go Pee 7. Simon Says Something Incoherent 6. Doc, Doc Goose 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over 4. Kick the Bucket 3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear 2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy 1. Sag, ... Read More