pfitz

Vocal Puzzle

by pfitz
Solve the puzzles by saying them out loud, over and over, faster andfaster, repeating the phrase, until you “hear” the answer. Example: LAWN SAND JEALOUS (place) Answer: Los Angeles 1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person) 2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (fictional character) 3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (person) 4. MOW BEAD HICK (book) 5. TALL MISCHIEF HER ... Read More

Priestly Assistance

by pfitz
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a small boy tying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the doorbell is just out of his reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across ... Read More

World History in a Student’s Eyes

by pfitz
Here is a collection of freshman history bloopers collected by aCanadian history professor (Anders Henrickson) over the years: During the Middle Ages, everybody was middle aged. Church and statewere cooperatic. Middle Evil society was made up of monks, lords andsurfs. It is unfortunate that we do not have a medivel European laidout on a table ... Read More

Virus Alert

by pfitz
This is the big one! Editors note:This is absolutely true. Bill Gates personally called someone that used to work near this other guy’s 3rd cousin-in-law that has a friend whose ex-girlfriend told a buddy of mine’s wife’s brother that he overheard this in the bathroom, and it was just released by Microsoft yesterday. I called ... Read More

Three Irish Brothers

by pfitz
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after ... Read More

Pop Quiz

by pfitz
(1) There’s one sport in which neither the spectators, nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contestants are finished. What is it? (2) What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? (3) Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other ... Read More

Memories

by pfitz
An elderly couple were having problems remembering things, so theydecided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothingwas seriously wrong with them. They explained to the doctor about the problems they were having withtheir memory. After his examination, the kindly doctor tells themthat they were physically fine. He suggested that ... Read More

Kids in Church

by pfitz
A little girl became restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, “Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. “How do you know what to say?” he asked. “Why, ... Read More

An Einstein Pfunny

by pfitz
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks and manner) that he was tired of ... Read More

Two Wishes

by pfitz
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be ... Read More