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Cheer Up
HEY !!! Cheer up… * The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund. * They say the house didn’t float very far at all. * We’re all amazed that you go on living each day. * Well, at least the operation was a partial success. * The “National Enquirer” just loved those nude shots ... Read More
Feline Physics
Law of Cat Inertia – A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion – A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason ... Read More
The Cowboy’s Horse
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen. He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking ... Read More
An Important Language Announcement
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be ... Read More
It’s a Monk’s Life
In an ancient monastery, a new monk arrived to dedicate his life to God and to join the others copying ancient records. The first thing he noticed was that they were copying by hand books that had already been copied by hand. He had to speak up. “Forgive me, Father Justinian, but copying other copies ... Read More
Why God Never Received Tenure at Any University
1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. It wasn’t published in a referred journal. 5. Some doubt He wrote it by Himself. 6. He may have created the world, but what has he done since? 7. The scientific community can’t replicate His results. 8. ... Read More
Did You See That?
Did you see that? “No,” the second guy says. “Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead,” the first guy says. “Oh,” says the second guy. A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, “Did you see that?” “See what?” the second guy asks. “Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on ... Read More
Smart Dog
A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. “An’ wot’s this then?” he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher’s shins. “You dumb dog.” As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices ... Read More
Airplane Riddles
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York City. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The tired blonde just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. ... Read More