Limerick by Ogden Nash
There was a young belle of old NatchezWhose garments were always in patchez.When comments aroseOn the state of her clothes,She replied, “When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez.”— Ogden Nash
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Not a Great Zoo
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
Gorilla in a Bar
A gorilla walks into a bar and says, “A scotch on the rocks, please.” The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill. The bartender thinks to himself, “This gorilla doesn’t know the prices of drinks,” and gives him 15 cents change. The bartender says, “You know, we don’t get too many gorillas in here.” The ... Read More
Pig Jokes
What do you call a pig that knows karate?Pork chop! What do you call a pig that loves to paint?Pig-casso! How do pigs get to the hospital?In a hambulance! What do you call a pig with no legs?A groundhog! What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?Philanthropig! What do you ... Read More
The Eight Worst Convenience Foods
These are real foods, with the manufacturer names included in parentheses after the product names. Not my descriptions, but they’re still funny. And kinda queasy-making. 8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed ... Read More
Donating Blood
A priest, an imam, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “What’s your blood type?” “I’m probably a Type O”, said the rabbit.
Copyright Humor
When you write copy, you own the right of copyright to the copy you write, if the copy is right. If, however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy. If you write religious services, you write rite, and own the right of copyright to the rite you write. Conservatives write Right copy, and ... Read More
Dad Jokes about the Ocean
Q: What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?A: A nervous wreck. I knew I shouldn’t have had the sea food. I’m feeling a little eel. Q: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?A: Cliff. Q: What are bald sea captains most worried about?A: Cap sizes. Q: Why ... Read More
Dad Joke Riddles
Q: What can you jump over that’s a hundred feet in the air?A: A dead centipede. ———- Q: How do you organize a space party?A: You planet. ———- Q: Why would you want to move to Switzerland?A: Well, the flag is a big plus. ———- A dad is washing the car with his son. After a while ... Read More