pfitz

The Eight Worst Convenience Foods

by pfitz
These are real foods, with the manufacturer names included in parentheses after the product names. Not my descriptions, but they’re still funny. And kinda queasy-making. 8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed ... Read More

Donating Blood

by pfitz
A priest, an imam, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “What’s your blood type?” “I’m probably a Type O”, said the rabbit.

Copyright Humor

by pfitz
When you write copy, you own the right of copyright to the copy you write, if the copy is right. If, however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy. If you write religious services, you write rite, and own the right of copyright to the rite you write. Conservatives write Right copy, and ... Read More

Dad Jokes about the Ocean

by pfitz
Q: What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?A: A nervous wreck. I knew I shouldn’t have had the sea food. I’m feeling a little eel. Q: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?A: Cliff. Q: What are bald sea captains most worried about?A: Cap sizes. Q: Why ... Read More

Dad Joke Riddles

by pfitz
Q: What can you jump over that’s a hundred feet in the air?A: A dead centipede. ———- Q: How do you organize a space party?A: You planet. ———- Q: Why would you want to move to Switzerland?A: Well, the flag is a big plus. ———- A dad is washing the car with his son. After a while ... Read More

A Bad Case of Large Nachos

by pfitz
A BAD CASE OF LARGE NACHOSBy Suzanne Peppers I have had a horrible case of Laryngitis for the past 8 days. I’m working hard to get over it. I have only had a little bit of voice for one day really. VERY frustrating. Then last Tuesday I was SO hungry…and had NO money with me…that ... Read More

Bear Walks into a Bar

by pfitz
A bear walks in to a bar and says, “I’ll have a gin and… tonic.”The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?”The bear looks down for a second and says, “I don’t know, I guess I was just born this way.”

Talking Dog

by pfitz
A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. “This dog can speak English,” he claims to the unimpressed agent. “Okay, Sport,” the guys says to the dog, “what’s on the top of a house?” “Roof!” the dog replies. “Oh, come on…” the talent agent responds. “All dogs go ‘roof’.” “No, ... Read More

Olaf the Norseman

by pfitz
Olaf the Norseman is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears.“What’s the matter?” asks Olaf.“Oh,” sobs the old lady. “I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets.”“No problem,” says ... Read More