pfitz

Heavenly Horse

by pfitz
A man has been lost and walking in the desert for about five days.One hot day–actually, they’re all hot–he comes to the home of apreacher. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses onthe doorstep. The preacher takes him in and nurses him back tohealth. Feeling better, the man asks the preacher ... Read More

Moose Hunting

by pfitz
Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska.They have a good hunt, and both manage to get a large moose. When theplane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals andsays, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, andboth of those animals. You’ll have ... Read More

Frog Riddles

by pfitz
Why are frogs so happy?They eat whatever bugs them! What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, andcrosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser! Why are frogs looking forward to 2024?It will be a Leap Year! Why did the frog cross the road?To see what the chicken was doing. ... Read More

A Warranty Pfunny

by pfitz
I once unpacked a SCSI drive shipped from Bubba’s in Louisiana, and it arrived with this article in the packaging. Enjoy! IMPORTANT! READ THIS BEFORE USING YOUR NEW DEVICECongratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtedly will destroy it via some ... Read More

Wise Sayings

by pfitz
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ... Read More

Shy Guy

by pfitz
A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine’s Day night and sees abeautiful woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to herand asks tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I bought you a drink?” She responds by yelling, at the top of ... Read More

A Potato Story

by pfitz
You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato hadeyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a littlesweet potato, whom they called ‘Yam.’ Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they toldher about the facts of life. They warned her about going out ... Read More

Family Bible

by pfitz
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. “Momma, look what I ... Read More

If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft

by pfitz
Patron: Waiter!Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support.Waiter. What seems to be the problem?Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.Patron: No, it’s still there.Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.Patron: Even when ... Read More

Bar Animals

by pfitz
A scroungy looking fellow goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “No way; I don’t think you can pay for it.” The guy shrugs, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?” The bartender says, “Only ... Read More