A Warranty Pfunny

I once unpacked a SCSI drive shipped from Bubba’s in Louisiana, and it arrived with this article in the packaging. Enjoy! IMPORTANT! READ THIS BEFORE USING YOUR NEW DEVICECongratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtedly will destroy it via some ... Read More

If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft

Patron: Waiter!Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support.Waiter. What seems to be the problem?Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.Patron: No, it’s still there.Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.Patron: Even when ... Read More

Virus Alert

This is the big one! Editors note:This is absolutely true. Bill Gates personally called someone that used to work near this other guy’s 3rd cousin-in-law that has a friend whose ex-girlfriend told a buddy of mine’s wife’s brother that he overheard this in the bathroom, and it was just released by Microsoft yesterday. I called ... Read More

Twas the Night before Christmas – Computer Programmers

PROGRAMMERS NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS Twas the night before implementation and all through the housenot a program was working, not even a browse.The programmers hung round their cubes in despairwith hopes that a miracle soon would be there. The users were nestled all snug in their bedswhile visions of inquiries danced in their heads.When out of ... Read More

Computer Class Prank

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a ... Read More

Beatles Computer Song

(to the tune of “Let It Be “) When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: Write in C. As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers: Write in C. Write in C, write in C, ... Read More

Top 10 Signs Your Co-Worker is a Computer Hacker

10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000. 9. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running. 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office computer network goes down. 6. Somehow gets HBO on his PC ... Read More

The Dangers of Casual Emailing

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on ... Read More

A Can-Do Pfunny

Programmer to Team Leader: “We can’t do this proposed project. **CAN NOT** It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to ... Read More

Buying a Parrot

A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, “The parrot to the left costs $500.” “Why does that parrot cost so much?” the man wondered. The owner replied, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.” The man asked ... Read More