Shy Guy

A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine’s Day night and sees abeautiful woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to herand asks tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I bought you a drink?” She responds by yelling, at the top of […]

Not Much of a Man

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell’sAngels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old fella,pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat atthe counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into his coffee and took aseat at the […]

Twins

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, […]

Snow Chronicles

December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our coffee and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! […]

The Procrastinator’s Creed

Procrastinator’s Creed 1. I believe that if anything is worth doing it would have been done already. 2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses. 3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration. 4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion […]

Gambling Grandpa

The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS […]

Marx

A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: “Have you read Marx?” The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.”

Oreo Personality Test

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos: 1. The whole thing all at once 2. One bite at a time 3. Slow and methodical nibbles, examining the results of each bite afterwards 4. […]