Gambling Grandpa

The IRS decided to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS […]

The Dying Irish Nun

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift […]

Grandpa Forgot

My grandpa and grandma were sitting on their porch swing enjoying the nice evening breeze, when Grandpa lovingly leaned over and said, “Hey Ma, I’m gonna have some ice cream, would you like some?” “Yeah, Pa, but you’d better write it down or you’ll forget,” said Grandma. Grandpa replied, “I won’t forget.” “Alright then,” said […]

An Elderly Pfunny

Three elderly ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on […]

A Strength Pfunny

The strong young man at the construction site was boasting that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of his ‘more mature’ co-workers. Finally, the older fella had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. “I […]

Good Eyes

This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up. “My skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes […]

Top 10 Old Folks’ Party Games

10. Musical Recliners 9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta 8. Hide and Go Pee 7. Simon Says Something Incoherent 6. Doc, Doc Goose 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over 4. Kick the Bucket 3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear 2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy 1. Sag, […]