A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
Cat’s motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?