TO: ALL PERSONNEL
FROM: ACCOUNTING
Much to our dismay, it has recently come to our attention that many of our employees have been turning in timesheets specifying an unusually large amount of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). Within the Accounting Department, unproductive time isn’t a problem. However, what is a problem is not knowing exactly what you are doing during this unproductive time.
Based on our observations of employee activities, our department has constructed a charge sheet detailing a tentative extended job code list. The list below will enable a more accurate description of employee activities and unproductive events. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you may encounter. As always, we’re only here to help.
Thank you.
The Management
Attached: Extended Job Code List
Code – Explanation
—– – ———–
5316 – Meeting
5317 – Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 – Trying to Sound Knowledgeable while in Meeting
5319 – Waiting for Break
5320 – Waiting for Lunch
5321 – Waiting for End of Day
5322 – Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 – Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker while Coworker is Not Present
5393 – Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5400 – Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 – Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Less than Intelligent
5402 – Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 – Buying Snack
5482 – Eating Snack
5500 – Filling out Timesheet
5501 – Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 – Waiting for Something to Happen
5504 – Sleeping
5510 – Feeling Bored
5600 – Complaining about Lousy Job
5601 – Complaining about Low Pay
5602 – Complaining about Long Hours
5603 – Complaining about Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
5604 – Complaining about Boss
5605 – Complaining about Personal Problems
5640 – Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 – Not Actually Present at Job
5702 – Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu
6102 – Ordering Out
6103 – Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 – Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6202 – Making Excuses after Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
6203 – Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6206 – Gossip
6207 – Planning a Social Event (e.g., vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 – Feeling Sorry for Yourself
6221 – Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 – Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 – Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 – Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They Are Jerks
6350 – Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Gal
6601 – Running Your Own Side Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
6603 – Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 – Staring into Space
6612 – Staring at Computer Screen
6615 – Meditation
7281 – Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
7401 – Talking with Plumber on Phone
7402 – Talking with Dentist on Phone
7403 – Talking with Doctor on Phone
7405 – Talking with House Painter on Phone
7406 – Talking with Psychiatrist on Phone
7419 – Talking with Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
8000 – Watching Stock Market on CNN
8001 – Watching Latest Washington Political Crisis on CNN