You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
Someone in your family died right after saying, “Hey all y’all, watch this!”
Your junior prom offered day care.
You think the last words of the “Star-Spangled Banner” are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
You’ve ever lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
The Halloween Jack-o-Lantern on your porch has more teeth than you.
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.”
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
You dated one of your parents’ current spouses in high school.