What do they call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses
What do you call Santa Claus after he’s fallen into a fireplace?
Krisp Kringle
Who sings “Love Me Tender” and makes Christmas toys?
Santa’s little Elvis
Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
“Rude”olph
What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet
What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Comet
What is the cow’s holiday greeting?
Mooooory Christmas
What does Santa like to eat?
A jolly roll
Where do Santa’s reindeers like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen
What does Santa say when he is sick?
OH OH NO!
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe
How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid
What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
Santa Claus-trophbia
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws
The 3 stages of man:
He believes in Santa Claus
He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus
He is Santa Claus
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him
What can Santa give away and still keep?
A cold
Why do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year?
They are so good that they’ll stick their necks out for anyone
Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish
Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him
What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes
What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Comet
What does Santa likes to eat?
A jolly roll
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve
What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells
Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.