Donating Blood
A priest, an imam, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “What’s your blood type?” “I’m probably a Type O”, said the rabbit.
Language
Copyright Humor
When you write copy, you own the right of copyright to the copy you write, if the copy is right. If, however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy. If you write religious services, you write rite, and own the right of copyright to the rite you write. Conservatives write Right copy, and ... Read More
Olaf the Norseman
Olaf the Norseman is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears.“What’s the matter?” asks Olaf.“Oh,” sobs the old lady. “I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets.”“No problem,” says ... Read More
A Potato Story
You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato hadeyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a littlesweet potato, whom they called ‘Yam.’ Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they toldher about the facts of life. They warned her about going out ... Read More
Job Interview Phrases
Phrases for you to use in a job interview: “I’m extremely adept at all manner of office organization”means: I’ve used Microsoft Office. “I’m honest, hard-working and dependable”means: I pilfer office supplies. “I take pride in my work”means: I blame others for any mistakes. “I’m personable”means: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers. “I ... Read More
Not Too Bright
Synonomic Phraseologies: She’s bright as Alaska in December. He donated his body to scientists…Before he was done using it. If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week. Go on! Give him a penny for his thoughts…you’ll get change back. She got into the gene pool while the lifeguards weren’t ... Read More
Daffynitions
~ Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it~ Allege: A rocky platform on a mountain~ Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s~ Arson: Our daughter’s brother~ Autobiography: A history of cars~ Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do~ Backward: Patient rooms at the rear ... Read More
Vocal Puzzle
Solve the puzzles by saying them out loud, over and over, faster andfaster, repeating the phrase, until you “hear” the answer. Example: LAWN SAND JEALOUS (place) Answer: Los Angeles 1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person) 2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (fictional character) 3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (person) 4. MOW BEAD HICK (book) 5. TALL MISCHIEF HER ... Read More
Vocal Dyslexia
There is a disease terrible that strikes 10 out of 1 Americans 15every minutes. Vocal Dyslexia it’s called. An elment I’ve been lifingall my fight. It can warn without striking and has no regard forcase, read, or crolor. Symptoms:~ speechaled garb~ backs coming out wordward~ and an inability to sent a complete putence together The ... Read More