Some stories from Reader’s Digest’s military humor column.
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Stationed overseas with the Air Force, my wife and I collected miniature statues. Two of our favorites were replicas of the “Winged Victory” and “Venus de Milo.” When we returned to the States and unpacked our boxes, our attention was drawn to the container holding our collection. The military movers, in an effort to protect themselves from liability, had written on the outside of the box: “Small statues; two already damaged–one missing head, another missing arms.”
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My unit at Fort Bliss in Texas was detailed with guard duty. However, since live ammunition was reserved for sensitive locations, our rifles were issued with unloaded magazines. One day while we stood at attention for inspection, the officer in charge confronted a private and barked, “What is the maximum effective range of your M-16, soldier?” The hapless private glanced down at his empty rifle and replied, “As far as I can throw it, sir!”
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Living near the Army’s Yakima Training Center in Washington, I often see tanks and other military vehicles perform maneuvers in the nearby hills. One day I noticed a whole crowd of tanks and jeeps, along with tents and personnel, camped in a valley just off the freeway.
The vehicles and tents were painted with camouflage colors, and also covered with nets and brush in order to conceal them from view. The scene would never have caught my eye–if it weren’t for the brightly colored outhouses scattered across the entire camp.