Law of Cat Inertia – A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion – A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism – All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics – Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching – A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping – All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Refrigerator Observation – If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction – Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking – A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy – All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat Embarrassment – A cat’s irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Cat Disinterest – A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection – Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition – A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn’t Matter.