HEY !!! Cheer up…
* The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund.
* They say the house didn’t float very far at all.
* We’re all amazed that you go on living each day.
* Well, at least the operation was a partial success.
* The “National Enquirer” just loved those nude shots of you.
* The insects hardly touched your other eyebrow.
* With the lights dimmed, it looks almost normal.
* The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.
* At least the passenger side air bag inflated.
* Jenny Jones wants you for this “secret admirer show”.
* The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.
* At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.
* The insurance pays the full book value ($ 312) for your 1956 T-Bird.
* The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.
* Those Grand Juries always over react. Don’t worry about it.
* Lots of guys face multiple paternity suits.
* The boss said while you’re sick, he’d do all your work personally.
* Tech Support said those errors just aren’t possible.