Cheer Up

HEY !!! Cheer up…

* The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund.

* They say the house didn’t float very far at all.

* We’re all amazed that you go on living each day.

* Well, at least the operation was a partial success.

* The “National Enquirer” just loved those nude shots of you.

* The insects hardly touched your other eyebrow.

* With the lights dimmed, it looks almost normal.

* The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.

* At least the passenger side air bag inflated.

* Jenny Jones wants you for this “secret admirer show”.

* The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.

* At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.

* The insurance pays the full book value ($ 312) for your 1956 T-Bird.

* The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.

* Those Grand Juries always over react. Don’t worry about it.

* Lots of guys face multiple paternity suits.

* The boss said while you’re sick, he’d do all your work personally.

* Tech Support said those errors just aren’t possible.