How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining. The day is young. We’ve got ourwhole lives ahead of us. And you’re inside worrying about a stupid,burned-out light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Not only that, but I’ll replace any wiringthat’s not up to code. Dachshund: I can’t […]
A man has been lost and walking in the desert for about five days.One hot day–actually, they’re all hot–he comes to the home of apreacher. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses onthe doorstep. The preacher takes him in and nurses him back tohealth. Feeling better, the man asks the preacher […]
Why are frogs so happy?They eat whatever bugs them! What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, andcrosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser! Why are frogs looking forward to 2024?It will be a Leap Year! Why did the frog cross the road?To see what the chicken was doing. […]
A scroungy looking fellow goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “No way; I don’t think you can pay for it.” The guy shrugs, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?” The bartender says, “Only […]
Sam and George owned a store in the outskirts of San Francisco. It hadbeen burglarized several times in the past year and Sam decided to buya guard dog. Shopping for one, Sam found himself in Chinatown, at a pet store whosesign boasted, “The Best Guard Dogs That Money Will Buy.” He enteredthe store, but much […]
“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” — Gene Hill “Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in thecar, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently atnothing right in your ear.” — Dave Barry “Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend; […]
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Wow! In all my years tending bar, I’ve never had a weasel stop by. What can I get you?” “Pop,” goes the weasel.
The following breeds are now recognized by the AKC: Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso, a dog that folds up easy for transporting Spitz + Chow Chow = Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up alot Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed Pekingnese + […]
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a goose walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the goose’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a […]
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He gives a mean look around the room as everyone gets quiet. Then he says, “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw!”