cows

Cowisms

by pfitz
FEUDALISMYou have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISMYou have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISMYou have two cows. The ... Read More

I’m Fine

by pfitz
A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy hotshot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’?” asked the lawyer. Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the…” “I didn’t ask for ... Read More

Ten Ways You Can Tell When Your Cow Has Mad Cow Disease

by pfitz
10) Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne. 9) She refuses to let you milk her, saying, “Not on a first date.” 8) Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of its ears. 7) She gets silicone implants for her udders. 6) She appears on Oprah, ... Read More