Some Mother’s Day Pfunnies

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into Heaven?”

The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'”


My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran
to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and
said with a charming little smile, “We better throw this one out too
then, ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.”


A Sunday School teacher asked her pupils, “Now, children, do you all
say your prayers at night?”

A little boy answered: “My MUMMY says my prayers.”

“I see,” said the teacher, “and what does your Mummy SAY?”

Replied the little boy: “THANK GOD HE’S IN BED!”


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had
several strands of white hair sticking out, in contrast on her
brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Mommy, why are
some of your hairs white?”

Her mother replied, “Well, every time you do something wrong and make
me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”

The little girl was silent for a while, and then said, “Poor Grandma.
You must have been a very, very bad girl.”


One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed
it vigorously, and a genie appeared. “I’ll grant you your fondest
wish,” the genie said.

The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job. A
job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do.”

“Poof!” said the genie. “You’re a housewife.”


The child was a typical four-year-old girl — cute, inquisitive,
bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the
concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo
album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he
pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the
wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.

“Now do you understand?” he asked.

“I think so,” she said. “Is that when Mommy came to work for us?”