Headlines from the Year 2029

– Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia (formerly California).

– White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.

– Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

– Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

– Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq , Afghanistan , Syria, and Lebanon ).

– Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

– Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
– 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

– Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

– New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

– IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

– Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.