Science

Twas the Night before Christmas – Scientifically

by pfitz
SCIENTIFICALLY EXPLAINED NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS ‘Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding theannual yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence,kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of thispotential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Musmusculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edgeof the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant ... Read More

What is 2 x 2?

by pfitz
Several scientists were all posed the following question: “What is 2 x 2 ?” The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it’s old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces “3.99″. The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces “it lies between 3.98 and 4.02″. ... Read More

Dark Sucker

by pfitz
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don’t emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light. First, the basis ... Read More

Feline Physics

by pfitz
Law of Cat Inertia – A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion – A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason ... Read More