School

Grading Finals

by pfitz
For those of you with finals approaching, here is an inside look athow professors grade their final exams: Dept Of Statistics:All grades are fitted to a normal curve. Dept Of Psychology:Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them andturn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the firstgrade that ... Read More

Lipstick Prints

by pfitz
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of theolder girls starting to use lipstick. When putting it on in theladies room they would then press their lips to the mirror and leavelip prints. Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gatheredall ... Read More

What is 2 x 2?

by pfitz
Several scientists were all posed the following question: “What is 2 x 2 ?” The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it’s old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces “3.99″. The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces “it lies between 3.98 and 4.02″. ... Read More

Computer Class Prank

by pfitz
For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a ... Read More

College Writing

by pfitz
A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus. “It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,” he said. “Actually,” said his guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation.” The visitor was astonished. “Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?” “Yes, indeed,” ... Read More

Why God Never Received Tenure at Any University

by pfitz
1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. It wasn’t published in a referred journal. 5. Some doubt He wrote it by Himself. 6. He may have created the world, but what has he done since? 7. The scientific community can’t replicate His results. 8. ... Read More

An Honorary Degree

by pfitz
A rich old boy sauntered into the offices of the president of a small Texas college and said, “I’d like to donate one million dollars to this here institution of higher education… But there’s a condition. Ah’d like to have an honorary degree.” The president nodded agreeably, “That’s not a problem. We can certainly arrange ... Read More

Twas the Night Before Finals

by pfitz
by Andrew Hund, 1993 Twas the night before finals, and all through the college, The students were praying for last minute knowledge. Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds, While visions of essays danced in their heads. Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking, And hoping that liquor would loosen their ... Read More