Language

Caesar Salad Now Legal

by pfitz
Caesar Salad Now Legal! WASHINGTON, DC — California decriminalized the sale of Caesar salad this week — and it’s not a moment too soon, the Libertarian Party said today. “When you outlaw Caesar salad, only outlaws will eat Caesar salad,” noted the party’s Director of Communications, Bill Winter. “That’s why, on the issue of Caesar ... Read More

Halloween Party

by pfitz
This guy goes to a Halloween party with a girl on his back. “What the heck are you?” asks the host. “I’m a snail,” says the guy. “But… you have a girl on your back,” replies the host. “Yeah, he says, “that’s Michelle!”

Medical Chart Notes

by pfitz
Medical chart notes written by clever people Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She ... Read More

Latin Seizures

by pfitz
Carpe Diem — Seize the Day Carpet Diem — Seize the carpet Carpayment Diem — Seize the checkbook Carpe Duh — Seize an idiot Carp Diem — Fish of the day Crampy Diem — Seize the Midol Carpe Diet — Seize the rice cake Carpal Diem — Seize the knuckles Carpe Dig’Em — Seize the ... Read More

An Important Language Announcement

by pfitz
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be ... Read More