Bad Headlines

Double meanings from around the world:

  • March Planned For Next August
  • Blind Bishop Appointed To See
  • Lingerie Shipment Hijacked–Thief Gives Police The Slip
  • L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
  • Patient At Death’s Door–Doctors Pull Him Through
  • Latin Course To Be Canceled–No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
  • Diaper Market Bottoms Out
  • Croupiers On Strike–Management: “No Big Deal”
  • Stadium Air Conditioning Fails–Fans Protest
  • Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
  • Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
  • Women’s Movement Called More Broad-Based
  • Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
  • Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
  • Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
  • Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
  • Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
  • Fund Set Up for Beating Victim’s Kin
  • Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
  • Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
  • Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
  • Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
  • Autos Killing 110 a Day–Let’s Resolve to Do Better
  • 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
  • War Dims Hope For Peace
  • If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
  • Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  • Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation
  • Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn’t Seen in Years
  • Man is Fatally Slain
  • Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
  • Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of Isolation
  • Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation at High School
  • Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentence
  • Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
  • House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate
  • Police Discover Crack in Australia
  • Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
  • Many Antiques Seen at D.A.R. Meeting
  • William Kelly, 87, was Fed Secretary
  • Collegians are Turning to Vegetables
  • Scientists to Have Ford’s Ear
  • Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water
  • Hershey Bars Protest
  • County Officials to Talk Rubbish
  • Carter Plans Swell Deficit
  • Caribbean Islands Drift to Left