pfitz

If Men Ruled the World

by pfitz
· Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. · Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” · Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. · When your girlfriend really needed to talk to ... Read More

Mechanic Test

by pfitz
This just in from the CarTalk joke center: http://www.cartalk.com/content/timekill/lamejokes/car.html ______________________________________________________ Crusty’s young nephew, Cranky, applied for a position as mechanic at Click & Clack’s garage. It just so happened that a young woman had walked in that day also looking for a job. There was really only one position to be filled, and since both ... Read More

A Flying Pfunny

by pfitz
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up, so they can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be ... Read More

New Book Titles

by pfitz
Some New Book Releases: How to Write Big Books, by Warren Peace The Lion Attacked, by Claude Yarmoff The Art of Archery, by Beau N. Arrow Songs for Children, by Barbara Blacksheep Irish Heart Surgery, by Angie O’Plasty Desert Crossing, by I. Rhoda Camel School Truancy, by Marcus Absent I Was a Cloakroom Attendant, by ... Read More

Praying Dog

by pfitz
While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to take over the service and went to talk to Bernie. “What are doing here with a dog?” “The dog came here to pray.” “Oh, come on,” ... Read More

Food, Family, and Philosophy

by pfitz
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.” The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. ... Read More

Some Pirate Riddles

by pfitz
Why didn’t the pirate get hungry when he was left on a desert island? Because of all the sand which is there! C00008==============> How do pirates know when they are about to be attacked? They watch Sea-span! C00008==============> I don’t know if you’ve heard about this new Pirate corn they’ve got now. I guess it’s ... Read More

An Evil Overlord Pfunny

by pfitz
Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks, and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Overlord I’ve read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I’ve noticed that no matter whether they ... Read More

An American in London

by pfitz
An American visiting in England asked at the hotel for the elevator. The portière looked a bit confused but smiled when he realized what the man wanted. “You must mean the lift,” he said. “No,” the American responded. “If I ask for the elevator I mean the elevator.” “Well,” the portière answered, “over here we ... Read More

A T-Shirt Pfunny

by pfitz
Top T-Shirts Seen Around Town ———————————– “Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ “My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ “I Yell Because I Care” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ... Read More