Old West Dog
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He gives a mean look around the room as everyone gets quiet. Then he says, “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw!”
pfitz
The Clerk and the Cougher
A high school student is working his first day in a pharmacy when he’s approached by a customer who asks for something to cure his cough. The boy hands him a box of laxatives, telling him to take them all at once. The man follows his orders, walks out of the drug store and leans ... Read More
How to Attend a Meeting
To really succeed in a business or organization, it is sometimes helpful to know what your job is, and whether it involves any duties. Ask among your coworkers. “Hi,” you should say. “I’m a new employee. What is the name of my job?” If they answer “long-range planner” or “lieutenant governor,” you are pretty much ... Read More
Snake in the House
Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple in Rockwall, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake ... Read More
Shelter from the Storm
Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she’s just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted. After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers. The ... Read More
A Klingon Christmas Carol
A Christmas Carol from Worf, to the tune of “The Christmas Song”(“Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”): Phasers flashing in the depths of space,Ripping up an airtight hull;Signs of fear on your enemy’s face,And life support signs reading null!Ev’rybody knows a Romulan’s a spineless foeWho lacks the Klingon will to fight!Phaser beams set his torso ... Read More
The Plan
In the beginning was the plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was completely without substance. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. And they spoke amongst themselves, saying, “It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh.” And the Workers went unto their Supervisors ... Read More
Tough Letter to Santa
Little Johnny wanted a bike for Christmas. He started writing his letter to Santa: “Dear Santa, I promise to be a good boy and do my homework and clean my room if you…” Oh no, that was WAY too much to promise. He started again: “Dear Santa, Please send me a bicycle and I will ... Read More
Twas the Night before Christmas – Computer Programmers
PROGRAMMERS NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS Twas the night before implementation and all through the housenot a program was working, not even a browse.The programmers hung round their cubes in despairwith hopes that a miracle soon would be there. The users were nestled all snug in their bedswhile visions of inquiries danced in their heads.When out of ... Read More
The Captain’s Clothing
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his first mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The first mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and ... Read More