Innappropriate Christmas Gifts

A couple years ago, the Washington Post-Style Invitational Challenge for the week was to come up with a terribly inappropriate Christmas gift idea.

  • 4th runner up: Li’l Naturalist Hornet Farm
  • 3rd runner up: A Pee-wee Herman pull toy
  • 2nd runner up: The Duncan Yo – Goes down, never comes back. Teaches children about warranties.
  • 1st runner up: 5,200 pick up – a jumbo deck of cards that lets kids play a larger version of their favorite game.
  • Winner: The “Learn-About-Puberty chia pet”

Honorable mentions:

  • Supersoaker 9000: For use on those hard to reach targets; NFL referees, low flying planes, and many more. At close range it can strip paint clean rusty grills, and dig utility trenches.
  • The laff-o-minit jajic spellin’ tootor
  • Doggie dentist: Kids learn about dentistry on the family pooch.
  • Cuisin Art: Turns mommy’s food processor into a spinning paint tool.
  • Water retention Wanda: Teaches kids the principles of the calendar.
  • Advanced play medical kit: includes colonoscope and speculum.
  • Chocolate covered lead soldiers
  • Bungeroo: kid sized bungee kit for second story bedrooms
  • Islamic strip poker: lose a hand, lose a hand.