The Self-Conscious Pirate

A pirate captain walks into a bar with his first mate and they sit down at the bar. Now, the pirate captain has been a little down on his luck in the world of women, know what I mean? His first mate notices some lovely piratical wenches across the bar.

“Arr, cap’n, you should go o’er thar and talk to her, ask her to dance, aye?”

The captain replied “Arrrr, but what about me one eye? What if she makes fun of it?”

“Don’t worry, cap’n,” said the first mate. “She only has one leg! She won’t say anything with that one peg leg.”

Convinced, the captain went over and immediately impressed the lady as pirates will do. He asked her if she’d like to dance.

“Would I, Would I!” she exclaimed.

“Oh yeah? Well… Peg Leg! Peg Leg!” replied the insulted captain!