A BAD CASE OF LARGE NACHOS
By Suzanne Peppers
I have had a horrible case of Laryngitis for the past 8 days. I’m working hard to get over it. I have only had a little bit of voice for one day really. VERY frustrating. Then last Tuesday I was SO hungry…and had NO money with me…that I decided to stop at Carl’s Jr. fast food for lunch. (They take ATM’s.) I got inside and realized I would not be able to order easily without a voice. SO… I grabbed a napkin and wrote on it:
LARYNGITIS (underlined and bold)
Under that I wrote #18 (combo) & Medium Drink I walked up to the counter and stood before a young lady that appeared to have been gifted with fewer brain cells than most. (Just a hunch.) I thought this might go badly. I handed her the napkin.
She looked past the napkin to my face and said, “To go or for here?”
I mouthed, “To go.”
She said, “What???”
This was not going to work. Again, I lifted the napkin to hand it to her. She repeated, “Is this to go or for here???” Frustrated, I began to WAVE the napkin in her face like a flag of surrender. She finally took it from my hand. She looked at my note and then, a bit indignant, looked right at me and said, “MA’AM, we don’t HAVE large nachos.”
Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to laugh hysterically without a voice? Suddenly I realized I was suffering from a bad case of LARGE NACHOS… not Laryngitis!!!! Oh my. But wait… the best is yet to come. As I’m shaking my head, she turns to the girl next to her and says, ‘”Do we have large nachos?”
The other girl reads my note and says, “I think she can’t talk. Just ring up an 18 and a drink.” So she does.
But she continues the order process by looking down, away from me.
I’m becoming a bit baffled at her lack of attention… until I realize she has a pen in her hand and is writing something on the napkin:
CHICKEN, BEEF or PORK?
At this point I begin pounding on the counter to get her attention.
She finally looks up at me and says, “WHAT?!”
I frantically point to my ears and mouth these words, “I CAN HEAR!!!!”
To which she begins to reply in writing again!!
I tapped her on the shoulder this time and mouthed again, “REALLY! I CAN HEAR! TALK TO ME!!!”
She became upset and said, “Well, I didn’t want you to have to say yes or no”… to which I replied (mouthing again), “I CAN NOD!!!!”
She took my money, handed me an order number and was done with me… all without speaking or saying thank you or even looking at me.
After all, I had a bad case of large nachos and certainly could not understand anything she might say to me.