Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals she was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs — what her dad dismissed as “redistribution of wealth.”
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, and a rich one at that — a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his, rather than benefit society.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. “You don’t need to spend money on these expensive furnishings in this huge house when there are people who need to earn more than minimum wage and better food!” she lectured.
To her shock and amazement, all The Donald said in reply was “Welcome to socialism.”
That’s it? she thought to herself — no argument? But before she could even think of a follow-up, he actually changed the subject! “How are you doing with your studies?” Trump asked her.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”
She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.”
The Donald was closing in now. He asked Ivanka, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”
Ivanka, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, “That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair!? I’ve worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!”
The Donald slowly smiled, winked, and said gently, “Welcome to capitalism.”