Moose Hunting

Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska.They have a good hunt, and both manage to get a large moose. When theplane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals andsays, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, andboth of those animals. You’ll have […]

Shipwrecked

There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got on to the island one of them started screaming and yelling, “We’re going to die! We’re going to die! There’s no food! No water! We’re going to die!” The second man was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly it […]

Mistletoe at the Airport

It was slightly before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in […]

Where You Live

YOU MIGHT LIVE IN CALIFORNIA IF: 1. You make over $250,000 a year and you still can’t afford to buy a house. 2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone. 3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 4. You know how to eat an artichoke. […]

Shot Down in a Blaze of Glory

A photographer for a prominent national news magazine was assigned to get photos of a humongous forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. His editor made the arrangements, and assured him the plane would be started and […]

Lost in the Desert

A man is lost in the Sahara desert. He used up the last of his water three days ago and he’s lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling, “Mush! Mush!” Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time — […]

Free Parking

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. “Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce,” the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car […]

Camping Tips

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes. Eating one can also keep your sleeping bag […]

It’s SO Hot in Arizona…

It’s so hot in Arizona that… …the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground. …farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. …the cows are giving evaporated milk. …you can say 113 degrees without fainting. …you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth […]