Redneck Jedi

You might be a redneck jedi if: Your landspeeder has a bumper-sticker that reads “I break for Wookies!” Your lightsaber has been used to power a still. You’ve ever eaten roadkill bantha stew. You’ve made out with your sister and your dad wants to kill you. You use the force to help your mother win […]

Musical Terms

Here are some musical terms that are commonly misunderstood by Country-Western musicians with their translated “Country” (or redneck, if you prefer) definitions: 12-Tone Scale: The thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailor truck with. A 440: The highway that runs around Nashville. Aeolian Mode: How you like Mama’s cherry pie. Altos: Not to be […]

If Men Ruled the World

· Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. · Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” · Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. · When your girlfriend really needed to talk to […]

Extreme Rednecks

You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. Someone in your family […]

Pirate Insurance Claim

After many years at sea a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job he thought that he should collect on his workers compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agent assured him that he […]

Ghost Indian

Two Ponca men were sitting out on a back road visiting. All at once there was a tapping on the window. “Ah Hoh! Hey guy! I think there is a ghost tapping on the window!” Sure enough a wizened face with long flowing white hair was there just out side the window. The Ponca man […]

Airplane Riddles

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York City. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The tired blonde just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. […]

Men and Women Compared

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra, and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra, and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob, and John go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head, and Useless. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, […]