A Warranty Pfunny

I once unpacked a SCSI drive shipped from Bubba’s in Louisiana, and it arrived with this article in the packaging. Enjoy! IMPORTANT! READ THIS BEFORE USING YOUR NEW DEVICECongratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtedly will destroy it via some […]

The Hero Lawyer

Did you hear about the lawyer on vacation whose sailboat capsized indangerous, shark-infested waters? He surprised his travelingcompanions by volunteering to swim to the far-off shore for help. As he swam, his companions were startled by the appearance of twodorsal fins — great white sharks, heading straight toward the lawyer.To their surprise, the sharks allowed […]

Three Irish Brothers

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after […]

Redneck Jedi

You might be a redneck jedi if: Your landspeeder has a bumper-sticker that reads “I break for Wookies!” Your lightsaber has been used to power a still. You’ve ever eaten roadkill bantha stew. You’ve made out with your sister and your dad wants to kill you. You use the force to help your mother win […]

Christmas in the Hood

Twas da night befo’ Christmas and all in the hoodNot a homie was stirring cuz it was all good.The tube socks was hung on the window silland we all had smiles up on our grill.Mookie and BeBe was snug in the cribin the back bedroom cuz that’s how we liveand moms in her do rag […]

Musical Terms

Here are some musical terms that are commonly misunderstood by Country-Western musicians with their translated “Country” (or redneck, if you prefer) definitions: 12-Tone Scale: The thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailor truck with. A 440: The highway that runs around Nashville. Aeolian Mode: How you like Mama’s cherry pie. Altos: Not to be […]

If Men Ruled the World

· Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. · Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” · Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. · When your girlfriend really needed to talk to […]

Extreme Rednecks

You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. Someone in your family […]

Pirate Insurance Claim

After many years at sea a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job he thought that he should collect on his workers compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agent assured him that he […]