Religion

Religious Cowboy

by pfitz
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a goose walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the goose’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a ... Read More

Shelter from the Storm

by pfitz
Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she’s just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted. After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers. The ... Read More

Fat Theology

by pfitz
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, “You want fries with that?” And Man said, “Super size them.” ... Read More

The Dying Irish Nun

by pfitz
The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift ... Read More

The Buddhist Monk and the Hot Dog Stand

by pfitz
Part I: A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand and says, “Make me one with everything”.   Part II: The vendor makes the hot dog and hands it to the monk, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. “Excuse me, but where’s my ... Read More

A Shipwrecked Pfunny

by pfitz
A man had been shipwrecked and stranded alone on a deserted island for 20 years. Just as he had lost all hope, he spotted a ship on the horizon. He quickly lit a signal fire and caught the ship’s attention. When the ship arrived at the island, the captain came ashore and noticed that the ... Read More

Top Ten Sayings of Biblical Mothers

by pfitz
10. Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don’t know where it’s been! (Judges 14:5-8) 9. David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons! 8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper! 7. ... Read More

A Creation Pfunny

by pfitz
In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, “It doesn’t get any better than this.” And God said, “Let there be light” and there was light. And God said, “Let the earth ... Read More

Praying Dog

by pfitz
While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to take over the service and went to talk to Bernie. “What are doing here with a dog?” “The dog came here to pray.” “Oh, come on,” ... Read More

The Rabbi’s Holiday

by pfitz
A Rabbi who’s been leading a congregation for many years is upset by the fact that he’s never been able to eat pork. So he devises a plan. He flies to a remote tropical island and checks into a hotel. He immediately gets himself a table at the finest restaurant and orders the most expensive ... Read More