A Creation Pfunny

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, “It doesn’t get any better than this.” And God said, “Let there be light” and there was light. And God said, “Let the earth […]

The First Witness

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a […]

If Men Ruled the World

· Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. · Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” · Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. · When your girlfriend really needed to talk to […]

Rules for Women

1. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red. 2. Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. 3. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and […]

The Jerk

Having a bad day? Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hannifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was […]

Roger and Diane

A true story! Let’s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Diane. He asks her out to a movie, she accepts, they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after […]

Men and Women Compared

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra, and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra, and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob, and John go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head, and Useless. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, […]

Letter from Mom

When the man came home, his wife was crying. “Your mother insulted me,” she sobbed. “My mother? How could she do that?” the man asked. She’s on vacation on the other side of the world!” “I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.” “And?” “At […]