A newly married couple returned from their honeymoon and the next day the bride woke up and decided to make her husband breakfast in bed. She brought him scrambled eggs, toast, and orange juice. While eating the breakfast, the man said, “It’s good, but it’s not like mother used to make.” So the next day she […]
Ayoung man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and […]
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason. The best submissions: SWISS ARMY KNIFE — male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, […]
Here are the Top Ten Signs you’re on a bad date: 10. He eats his steak with his fingers and uses the fork to scratch his armpits. 9. During the movie, you notice she’s holding hands with the guy on her other side. 8. She says, “I’ll probably finish my dinner before you since I […]
A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the husband replied, “In-laws.” <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> All men are idiots. And […]
In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, “It doesn’t get any better than this.” And God said, “Let there be light” and there was light. And God said, “Let the earth […]
A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a […]
· Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. · Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” · Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. · When your girlfriend really needed to talk to […]
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.” The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. […]
1. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red. 2. Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. 3. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and […]