A Potato Story

You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato hadeyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a littlesweet potato, whom they called ‘Yam.’ Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they toldher about the facts of life. They warned her about going out […]

If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft

Patron: Waiter!Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support.Waiter. What seems to be the problem?Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.Patron: No, it’s still there.Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.Patron: Even when […]

Signs You’re Overdoing Thanksgiving

~ Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you. ~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall. ~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth’s axis. ~ You spill more food on yourself than the local soup kitchen dispenses. ~ Paramedics […]

Black November

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,And he told me there was something that I had to know;His look and his tone I will always remember,When he told me of the horrors of… Black […]

Shelter from the Storm

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she’s just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted. After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She was met by two of the Brothers. The […]

Newlywed Breakfast

A newly married couple returned from their honeymoon and the next day the bride woke up and decided to make her husband breakfast in bed. She brought him scrambled eggs, toast, and orange juice. While eating the breakfast, the man said, “It’s good, but it’s not like mother used to make.” So the next day she […]

Fat Theology

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, “You want fries with that?” And Man said, “Super size them.” […]

The Dying Irish Nun

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift […]