Bar Animals

A scroungy looking fellow goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “No way; I don’t think you can pay for it.” The guy shrugs, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?”

The bartender says, “Only if what you show me ain’t risqué.”

“Done!” says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a very large gerbil. He puts the gerbil on the bar and it scampers down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing some wonderful Scott Joplin tunes.

The bartender says, “Truly Amazing! I’ve never seen anything like that before. And your furry friend is truly good on the piano.” The fellow grins, downs the drink and asks for another.

“Cash, another miracle or else no drink,” says the bartender.

Undaunted, the fellow reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous baritone voice and great pitch. A fine singer.

Another patron from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $500 on the spot for the frog.

The guy says, “Done, sir.” He takes the five and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger beats a hasty retreat out of the bar.

The bartender says to the guy, “What are you? Wacko? You sold a singing frog for just $500? That thing must be worth millions. You must be crazy.”

“Maybe not,” says the guy, “Considering, my friend, the gerbil is also a ventriloquist.”